the other day I was ironing…
or maybe I was folding laundry…
using the toilet?
I don’t remember what I was doing to be honest. I just remember that after listening to Ginny’s babbling from the other side of the room, her babbling turned to complaining, and then she started complaining a little bit louder. When I went to look for her… I realized she had scooted under the bed.
Like any good mother I checked that she was not in any real danger, and then I ran to grab the camera.
She’s getting so big. It’s crazy.
Yesterday I found myself sitting in a doctor’s office with an EKG machine attached to my body.
I thought I was having a heart attack. No joke. I thought I was dying. My chest felt tight, my back hurt, my arms were tingly. It had happened Thursday before we left for New Jersery/New Years. I thought I was dying and all I wanted to do was sit in my rocking chair. Then while driving to NJ I was driving and had to pull over. If something happened I didn’t want to be in a car accident at the same time. So Tuesday evening the pain returned. I texted my husband to let him know – and he rushed home.
I was scared to hold Ginny, because I didn’t want to drop her if I passed out.
So when B-man got home from work we went to the doctor.
I explained my symptoms, the doctor did some poking and prodding. She listened to my chest, too my blood pressure several times, and asked several questions about my daily routine. My blood pressure was normal. Perfectly normal.
Then they went on to take 3 vials of blood, and do an EKG. Less than an hour later I had my diagnosis: I wasn’t having a heart attack.
The doctor seemed to imply that it is bone/muscle stress… possibly caused by holding my baby too much.
So she sent me home with instructions to try and relax, take some ibprofin, and to come back in a week if I have any more “episodes”.
Today I really tried to tune in to my body. Trying to figure out if the pain is actually in my breast bone, and not my “chest”. I also spent a good amount of time trying to comfort Ginny in whatever position she was in, instead of picking her up. It wasn’t as fun, because I do love holding her and toting her around – but no searing pains this evening.
Maybe I need a new nursing chair? lol. Did I tell you about the time I broke down crying in a Babies ‘r’ Us over a nursing chair? I told B-man he could get me this nice rocker for Christmas next year because it would be really nice for nursing in and he says “You won’t be nursing next Christmas.” Maybe this is something other people realized, but I hadn’t considered the end of this special connection I share with her right now. I literally started crying in the middle of the store.
So to recap:
- I let Ginny get stuck under the bed.
- I thought I was having a heart attack but I wasn’t.
- I cried in Babies R’ Us over weaning.
Seriously… I haven’t even began to think about weaning. Well… a little bit… because she has started pinching me. But I love the connection I feel with her so much, I can’t imagine not having that. I know it will end eventually – but it was so important for us on the bonding front.
Coming soon: Christmas pictures!