Once, when I was at the The Hague International Model United Nations, I sat next to this group of British guys.
I have always been a bucket of stress. Especially in high school, before my depression was sever enough to effect strangers, before anti-depressants, when my chill pill was talking to my future husband for hours on end. He really did save my soul. Regardless, I was probably the kid sitting in my seat the whole time, the only one who hadn’t gone out drinking the night before, or taken advantage of the legal marijuana situation. I was a stickler. And I was stressing. About my fake resolution of course?! What else would a teenager at THIMUN be stressing about?
One morning of the conference I arrived particularly stressed. I was rooming with people I really didn’t care for – the rest of my dear high school friends all signed up for rooms with out me. Yeah, I was the convenient friend for a lot of people. Any way – I was rooming with girls who didn’t like me, and whom I didn’t like. No wondering I was stressed.
Now the following is an unfortunate picture of me. I apologize, but I am sharing a closer image of the cute British guy I will never meet again – I don’t even remember his name.
Sorry. Countinuing onward. He turned to me one dreary Netherland morning and said:
Are you fretting? Why are you fretting?
And this question was rephrased and repeated multiple times. All I could think was “Who uses the word ‘fretting’ in everyday speech?”
Okay – onto my point. Since deciding I wanted to ride my bike to school, I have seriously been doing some fretting. I’m worried about my old lady hips. The last time I had problems with them was because of some bike riding – and it resulted in months of physical therapy. Months. I had convinced myself to wait until next week to try and ride my bike in, but I really decided I need to stop fretting and just do it. And if it’s hard, and it sucks, I won’t do it every day. But I realized how easy it was for me to talk myself out of doing it – and that is freaking scary. I am so thankful for all of the encouragement though, because I feel like I am being held responsible, and I would hate to let my blog-friends down. 🙁
In other news, I think my bout of baby-fever has passed, my ovaries have been tamed, and I think if I were pregnant right now I would be wishing I had waited. Good thing my husband knows how to (occasionally) put his foot down. I have no stamina, and no patience. Really… when I am feeling uninhibited, I am probably one of the least patient people ever. Which is probably why I need to wait to have kids. That and I am trying to convince myself to ride 6 miles on my bike every day.