the worst feeling in the world

I thought I had felt the worst emotional pain possible when I got my heart broken in high school. I thought I was going to die, but then I had to say good bye to my husband at the airport. That was a terrible feeling too, worse than the pain a silly boy could cause me.

But now I have this little girl. She is so dependent on me, and when I can’t do anything to calm her or satisfy her it breaks my heart. I can’t help tearing up when I see her struggling.

Ginny has trush. It’s a yeast infection in the mouth. I guess it isn’t usually that big of a deal. I asked about it at her doctor appointment last Wednesday, but the nurse said it wasn’t anything to worry about. But now it has covered her entire tongue, her cheeks, and even a little on her lips. It causes swelling, and makes swallowing painful… which means she’s not eating. She seems to have forgotten how to latch on, and even struggles to find suction with a bottle. It is so painful for me to watch her struggle with this.

It is 4 in the morning and I haven’t gone to bed yet. Instead I am just snuggling my sweet baby girl, and realizing this little girl already has my entire heart in her tiny little hand.

Continue the fun!

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3 Comments

  1. Even if you look sad you look very cute holding her like that.

    I hope your little one heals fast and that she can be feeding soon. Good luck.

    Is there anything you could eat and that might get through your milk that could help?

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