Two days.

How did I go two days with out blogging?

Stress.
Anxiety.
I compare myself to others, and then I fall short. Not good enough.
I’m not famous. My blog isn’t consistently interesting, or funny. It’s not full of beautiful pictures of original recipes. But it is full of my life. That should be enough.
__________________
Motivation is not running through my blood.
It’s cold outside.
The sun tricks me,
pulls me,
teases me,
then disappears.
____________________________
B-man is doing the dishes. I asked him to do it earlier.
I don’t usually ask. What’s wrong with me?
Then he waited.
And waited…
And waited.
Now it’s 12:24 in the morning. I’m tired and sore, and I want to snuggle up to his ridiculously warm body and fall asleep. It’s easier to fall asleep when it’s warm.
——0—————0———
The warmth is fleeting.
From my fingers…
my toes…..
my nose.
It’s cold inside.
I can make a million excuses,
but none good enough…

“it’s cold”
“I’m tired.”
“too much to do…”

But in the end
there is a hole inside of me.
Eating,
tearing,
consuming.
My mind wanders,
wiggles,
dances,
giggles,
trips,
cries,
Stop.
__________________________
Why is he doing the dishes? Why didn’t I get my homework done. Why am I not sleeping. What time is it? When do I have to get up? Can I sleep a little bit longer?
I have too much to do tomorrow. Far too much to do.
I think my phone is dead.
Continue the fun!

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