I’m starting to already worry about giving birth in a hospital. I really just need to start asking questions and figuring out what to expect. The sad part is that normally I would consider myself out going, smart, and able to stand up for myself. But as soon as I’m sitting in front of some one with scrubs on I freak out and can’t say anything! Some times I wish I could just make a vlog for them, and give them the link. Lol. Passive aggressive much?
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I guess my problem is that I don’t want to write out a “birth plan” and just get laughed at (so to speak, I would hope the medical staff are more professional than that!). But I want to ask if IVs are necessary/required (because 1) I hate them and 2) why would you give a perfectly healthy person an IV? I mean… if the options are right now, or after I pass out… wouldn’t it be easier to do it after I pass out?).
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I have been reading a book recently. A very interesting, albeit narrow minded book about child birth. It’s “Your Pregnancy and Childbirth: Month-to-Month” and it is put out by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. You can guess which way it’s sided. Regardless, it is a very in-depth book about pregnancy, and the potential problems that can occur. Regardless of whether you are having a hospital birth or any other kind of birth – I would suggest this book. Why? Because their doctors – and it offers a unique view inside the human body that you can’t necessarily find any where else. It goes in-depth not only about the fetal development, but the changes in your body, the symptoms most people experience, what you can do to help them, and it offers suggestions on diet and simple exercises.
Unfortunately, this is also the book that scares the crap out of me. So – if you read this and already knew you weren’t giving birth in a hospital, then it would be easy to say “this doesn’t apply to me”. I am left thinking “I really hope/don’t want this to apply to me.” Things like episiotomies, and IVs and… why can’t I eat anything if I’m not taking any special medications? Why in the world would they do that to me? Sounds like torcher! “We know you’re currently pushing at least 7 pounds of baby out your vagina but think of it this way: if you don’t eat anything you might passout and then we can do what ever we want!”.
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Does the word vagina bother you guys? What about uterus? OWN IT!
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Oddly enough, the least scary part about having a baby right now is the actually birthing part. Weird? Maybe. But millions of women have done it before me – and my body knows what to do. It knows how to make this little sea monkey in my uterus – it sure as hates better know how to get it out!
Would some one please teach me how to think in coherent thoughts? Soon?
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January 24, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Some of the ‘rules’ are up to your doctor and some are up to the hospital. I had a lock in , but no IV fluids for two of my three births (one was a rough one and required petocin because labor stalled–the baby was stuck–eeks). The lock is their line in if you go in to shock, which makes it very hard to get an IV in. Not my ideal, but it is what it is.
The prohibition on food and liquids stinks–the nurse won’t be in the room most of the time, so while I didn’t eat I did drink some water (just a couple of sips while my nurse was away with the second. If you wait until you’re in active labor, you likely won’t want to eat much anyway. I wasn’t there long enough with the third–less than 30 minutes–to need anything but water and my midwife was great about it. The admission questions weren’t finished yet, but by gosh and by golly they had that needle in my arm!
The episiotomy thing is a doctor thing, so ask now, with your list of questions in a regular visit. I’ve not had one, but I always had to have a tear repaired. I know that there are different views on which is better. Ice packs are your friend. : ) But it’s all worth it when you hold that little one in your arms.
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Jessica Reply:
January 24th, 2011 at 10:22 pm
I guess currently my plan is to just chill at home as long as I can. lol. I live 8 minutes from the hospital, and there is rarely traffic on the road between my house and the hospital.
I know I probably won’t feel like eating – but if you body is saying “I’m hungry!!!” it seems stupid to ignore it.
I’ve read that episiotomies are no longer considered a “standard practice” by American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists – so I’m hoping that won’t be a problem. I won’t know who delivers the baby until I show up that day, because it’s a rotating staff. I would think that a natural “rip” would heal better because the skin will break where it is weakest, so the repair will be easier on the body. It makes sense in my head. lol.
I guess I just need to type out a list of questions and take it though. I turn into a pile of useless jell-o when I go into the office!
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January 25, 2011 at 12:04 am
I only have one child so I’m not sure how typical my experience.
). This I think is dependent on hospital, so choose wisely 
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I labored at home until my contractions were 1-3 minutes apart (and they will advise you to do this as well unless there are extenuating circumstances) .
I was given an IV for only about 30 minutes (I was dehydrated from puking, as someone who tried to eat while in labor I would advise against it; the pain of contractions made me vomit everything up.) If you are group B postitive (its a strep test they do at I think 28 weeks) you will have to have an IV no matter what (at least until you have finished a banana bag of meds, for the baby’s protection)
I was allowed Italian ices, jello, broth soups, and any liquids to drink (I only wanted apple juice
My OB did not do an episiotomy (he stretched as I pushed). I had one teeny tear that required a few stiches and healed in a week and a half!
Don’t be afraid to ask questions (I was too!, but did anyway). The doctor will most likely be more then happy to answer any and all questions. My doctor was glad I did, he said that sometimes he forgets that some of the birth info isn’t something everybody knows. It might also help to have your hubby with you as well, for moral support
.
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Jessica Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 12:14 am
I’ve already had the strep tests and I’m negative – so we’ll see if that helps my no-IV cause.
Do you mind if I ask how long you were in labor for? What I really mean is… how long were you at the hospital before your kiddo was born. I’m really worried about showing up too earlier and being unable (because of my anxiety in hospitals) to say no the pitocin and other interventions.
I am taking my hubby with me to my next appointment, so it may be a good idea to hand the list over to him. lol. Then when he’s not asking the question right my courage will return and I’ll do it. Funny how men can inspire us to do strange things!
I’m not planning on eating, it just erks me that when your body is going through so much work and “labor” that you’re not allowed to give it any nutrition. I guess that is solved by the IV. Meh. I’ll figure things out. lol.
Thanks for sharing your experience though, it’s always good to get a second (and third, and fourth and fifth and sixth) perspective!
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Samantha Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 3:49 am
It does seem out of whack that you can’t eat when your body is going through something so taxing huh? But they had me eat after he was born, before they would let me stand up and go to the bathroom; it was the best turkey sandwich I have ever eaten
. Hmm I was admitted at 7 pm (after laboring at home for about 18 hours) and had my son at 2 am (things really sped up for me when they broke my water). So I was there for about 7 hours before he was born. I chose to have an epidural because I was exhausted from being in labor and not sleeping much the night before. After I got the epidural (at around 10 pm) I just laid back and watched TV until they told me to push 
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Samantha Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 4:07 am
Oh and I had submitted a birth plan saying that I didn’t want any “unnecessary” interventions (including an epidural) but they totally didn’t care when I changed my mind. Birth isn’t an easy process and there are not always set answers, but I wish you the best along this process and know that in the end it is so completely worth all this stress and worry
. Also, don’t be afraid to rely on your loved ones; having support, especially when your in labor, is incredibly important.
January 25, 2011 at 12:54 am
I can’t offer much, but to say that I’m totally thinking of you. Navigating the whole process must be totally overwhelming.
When things are overwhelming to me, I take deep breaths and acknowledge that I am overwhelmed. I acknowledge that there are things that must be done to get rid of the feeling and then I try to figure out what they are. Maybe if you take your questions to the doctor and discuss them with your husband, you’ll be able to find more peace? I don’t know, but I think you’re totally justified!
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Jessica Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 3:55 pm
Calm down… what a concept! I’ve never been very good at stress management. I am definitely working on my list of questions – it won’t be a long list, but hopefully it will help me feel better.
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January 25, 2011 at 9:03 am
I think the anxiety you experience in the face of a doctor’s authority is exactly why you need to write out a birth plan. You need to think through all of those questions – meds, IV, episiotomy, #of vaginal exams – and be really clear on what your ideal is, where you will compromise, and where you won’t. Then you need to go over it with your husband. He needs to be especially clear on the areas in which he may need to advocate for you. Take episiotomy for example: your doctor may agree that it shouldn’t happen but you don’t know who will be delivering your baby in the hospital. And the doctor may just decide at the end to grab the scissors and make the cut without really asking you. Plus you’ll be in the middle of something at that point. Your husband will need to be ready to advocate for you on this and depending on how strongly you feel about no episiotomy, he may need to be prepared to argue forcefully on your behalf. That’s just one example.
The next important part is to make your doctor aware of your feelings about these things. But he or she may not be at the birth so it is more important that you and your husband have a handle on the issues. You can also bring your plan with you to the hospital for your other care providers to read – maybe condensed into bullet points.
Your plan to labor at home is a great one. You’ll be more comfortable and have more control and yes, it will also provide the hospital less time to intervene in ways you don’t want. Especially since labor with your first can go long there is no reason to rush in until you are in a good steady laboring pattern and are no longer focusing on anything other than the contractions as you have them. This will help you avoid having to make a case against getting a pitocin drip, which is basically standard now. No pitocin means you are less likely to need an epidural for pain and less likely that the baby will become stressed from a too intense labor that doesn’t adequately allow for heart rate recovery.
Anyway, those are just some thoughts. I have a pretty good handle on most of the research around these issues and on childbirth in general since I want to be a nurse midwife when I grow up
. If you want to talk more or bounce ideas off of someone that could be me. I am never bored of pregnancy.
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Jessica Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 3:49 pm
I think you are right – I will definitely need to talk to my hubby about it – but I hadn’t considered him as my “advocate”. I like the wording. I will also have my mother there, who is a very outspoken women, and after five kids she doesn’t have the same fears of doctors as I do. I’ll definitely keep you in mind if I need some one to bounce ideas off of! Thanks for the offer!
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January 25, 2011 at 9:20 am
I don’t know anything about birth, but I do know something about doctors! And I know they can be scary “figures of authority,” but you can definitely ask them any questions you have. Writing a list and taking your husband (or another person) with you is a great idea so you don’t get white coat amnesia (like I do sometimes). And just talk it through. I swear they have heard it all before and won’t think any of your questions are dumb.
The thing about SOME doctors is that they aren’t always great about answering questions. As in, they’ll give you a short medical response that won’t be helpful to you. So don’t be afraid to push push push until they clarify exactly what they mean so you know exactly the answer to your question.
Some doctors can also seem really busy. But don’t let them make you feel like you’re wasting their time. You aren’t. You can start the appointment by saying, “I have a list of 30 questions to ask you” which will help them prepare for a lengthy discussion. It’s another reason why it will be good to have your husband there – he can help you make sure you get all your questions answered even if the doctor is being unclear or seems busy. This is your experience – make sure they answer the questions!
I can imagine how frightening this must be. Hang in there!!
(BTW – I could be totally wrong, but I think the prohibition against eating is in case you need an emergency c-section. They don’t want you to vomit and aspirate the vomitus while in surgery.)
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Jessica Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 12:26 pm
That it a good idea – starting out saying “these are my questons”. I always feel like a number in hospitals/clinics! I’ll just have to read this comment and my pep-talk for when I go to my next appointment.
Thanks!
And the food thing – I’m not saying “I WANT TO EAT!!!” and I know part of it is to do with emergency c-section, it’s just something I worry about. lol. I’m a very good worrier.
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January 25, 2011 at 9:54 am
I have a few problems with women who have never given birth or listen to all the horror stories about hospital births. It is in my opinion that if you surround yourself with medical professionals that you feel comfortable with, they will have your best interest at heart. It is also my opinion that maybe the reason you don’t eat (or shouldn’t eat) is because you may end up like me: eating and throwing up all over the place which was extremely embarrassing to me. Also, women tend to get diarrhea and perhaps they suggest you don’t eat as much to keep you from crapping all over the place and saving yourself the embarrassment. I don’t know when hospital birth began to equal horrible experiences or a lack of control.
Seems to me that if women educated themselves about hospital policy and the policies of their doctors, they wouldn’t be surprised they could or couldn’t do certain things. If people did research about their doctor’s practice and the attitude of the hospital and didn’t like it then they could choose something else. Instead, many women choose to stay uneducated about policies and then complain because they didn’t know or didn’t agree with them. Policies are policies and unless you are up to fighting the system, I say move on to a doctor or hospital that goes along with your ideals. It isn’t the fault of the doctor or hospital, but the uneducated woman.
Not that I trust 100% of what anyone says to me..But I would like to believe that someone who spent so many years in medical school and chose to specialize in a certain field would know A LITTLE more than I, wikipedia, and webmd.
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Jessica Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 12:23 pm
You are completely right, and I completely agree. But, as some one who has had numerous negative experiences with hospitals, I guess my view is already tainted, regardless of the reason I have to be in a hospital. I also have severe anxiety brought on by merely walking into a hospital/clinic – so asking questions can be a stumbling block for me. I don’t think I’m asking for anything drastic, I know a lot of people who have had wonderful hospital births – and to each their own.
I guess my biggest fear is that, despite knowing what I really want to happen (things i have a choice in) I won’t be able to tell any one for fear of their response.
But you are right – I should ask about the policies, but it is the closest hospital to my home, which is important to me – so the likelihood of a policy influencing me to change dr/hospital is small. I’ve got my priorities.
Thanks for weighing in. I appreciate it. Did you do any posts about your own birth experience?
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Meg Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 3:55 pm
I can understand your anxiety. It’s a huge deal to give your life and the life of your baby into the hands of people you barely know. But I like the comment by a previous poster about creating a list and handing it to them. That way maybe they can take the lead on answering them for you.
I actually just wrote a post about how c-section mothers are looked down upon, in my opinion. But nothing specific about my birthing experience. I guess I was just “over it” when my baby finally came and wanted to focus on writing about the amazing experiences I was currently having. But my experience was wonderful, just never really wrote about it.
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Jessica Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 4:03 pm
I don’t have anything against people who have had c-sections. If that’s what it comes down to, and that’s how the baby comes out of my body – that’s what happens! I know it is necessary some times, and I really do appreciate the medical profession. My sister has had health problems her entire life and with out the medical advances we have, she would be dead… many times over.
That being said… it is really important to me to avoid it at almost any cost. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists itself says that it is a major surgery, and it could impact a woman’s ability to have children in the future, and if she does get pregnant, there are a lot of very scary complication associated with it. As some one who can’t be in a hospital with out the desire to run away, those types of things would be enough to keep me from trying to have a second kid – but I definitely want more than one. Having done a fair bit of research (none of it was “horror stories” and the majority of it was published by the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists I have come up with things that either have serious possible repercussions, or things that are not deemed “necessary” as things I want to avoid.
I think what I am lacking is a knowledge of hospital policy – so I will be asking plenty of questions about that at my next appointment, as well as a few others.
I hope you didn’t take offense to anything I wrote about. I know the point in a blog is to find people you relate to – but sometimes I really just write about myself, with out any intention of applying my personal standards to other people, and I’m sorry if something bothered you. Thanks for your comments! I’m going to go find and read your blog about c-sections now.
Cortney Reply:
January 26th, 2011 at 3:12 pm
I have a different view on the eating and drinking thing. I’ve read that many women- regardless of eating or not- vomit during contractions. This is considered a normal reaction for some women’s bodies to have. In the end, I’d almost be more likely to want to eat if I was vomiting, because at least I’d be replenishing what I had lost. As to bowel movements, that also is a natural occurrence during labor. It’s not fun, it’s messy, and poop is never glamorous, but I don’t know that I would agree with a hospital policy that would be in place simply to “help me” avoid the situation solely because it might be embarrassing.
Everything I’ve read says that the “no eating/drinking rule” is because if you do have to have a c-section, and if for whatever reason in a very rare circumstance of being under general anesthesia, there is a small chance you could aspirate if you puked up the food. But amongst midwives and birth centers eating small amounts of food (I’m not talking a feast here, haha!) and sipping things like water and fruit juice are allowed to help you keep up your strength. First time mothers can sometimes be in labor for over 24 hours- how on earth is anyone expected to have the strength to push if they haven’t eaten anything for over a day? I know I woudn’t!
As to the doctors having your best interests at heart- I believe they *believe* they have your best interests at heart. But with a c-section rate of, on average, somewhere in the mid to high 30% range (when the WHO says that, on average, only about 10-15% of births need c-sections on average world wide) and with a shocking episiotomy rate of, on average, over 90% for first time American mothers- compared with somewhere around 3-5% for European mothers- I would just gently suggest that the *policies* in place, and the culture around birth, might not actually always be in the best interest of the mother. I’m not saying doctors are terrible evil people (I love them and am grateful for the fabulous doctors I have and I will be eternally grateful should a potential future baby of mine be safely delivered via a needed and justified c-section!!!), but the discrepancies in those numbers are HUGE. Something has to account for that. Either American women’s vaginas and uteri are freakishly small compared to the rest of the world, or we simply have a different established birth culture. I would say it’s the latter. And I would again reiterate- because people can take things very, very personally when we start talking about birth- that I don’t think that there is anything wrong with the choice to have an elective c-section. And there isn’t anything wrong with having a hospital birth. And getting an epidural does not make you “less of a woman”. And I don’t hate doctors and think they are evil geniuses out to get me
But I do think that asking questions about why our outcomes are *so different* from other western cultures is valid.
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January 25, 2011 at 1:58 pm
As suggested above write down a list of questions.
Talk with your husband on what you want (make a list of him maybe) and how he can provide you with support.
Maybe you should also look into a doula. I’ve heard that they’re here for the mom to help get things done the way you want and provide with support before during and after the birth. They advocate for you especially if your spouse is freaking out
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Jessica Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 3:51 pm
Yeah – my Mom is going to kind of be acting as my “doula” – she’s had 5 kids, and we have had a lot of discussions about birth and the related issues. She told me “You’re too soft spoken, so I’ll have to go with you or you’ll end up with a c-section because you won’t talk to the doctor.” I guess my Mama knows me best! Thanks for the suggestions though. I’m working on my list now!
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January 25, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Hm. I’ve had two totally different births–
J’s was 26 hours of total back labor, 2 hours of pushing, no tearing, no complications. Midwife delivery. Walking around an hour after delivery. It went very well!
V’s was an induction because he was supposed to be “ZOMGHUGE”. Three days of induced labor which got nowhere, leading to the dreaded csection. A pain in the butt to recover from *esp with a 2.5 year old to take care of at the same time* Some postpartum depression (that still rears it’s ugly head when people talk about how csections are unnecessary and inductions aren’t worth it blahblahblah).
I was scared both times I gave birth. And they were two totally different experiences. idk… I’m no help…lol
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Jessica Reply:
January 25th, 2011 at 3:53 pm
I hope I’m not making you feel bad – because that’s not my goal.
As with every stage in life… unpredictable things happen, I just figure… if things are going the way they are supposed to… why mess with it.
So question: Was he actually born “ZOMGHUGE”? lol.
In the end, as you as you get to keep the baby I’m sure it’s all worth it… right? lol.
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January 25, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Feel free to pick my brain next time I see you:) I think after 3, I know a little somethin’ about birthin babies:) All 3 were very different experiences – one came on her own (but I was weak and had to have drugs), the 2nd was induced, and the last was a c-section. I had to have episiotomys with both vaginal births. Probably could have avoided it with Alexis since she was a nice 7 lbs, 1/2 ounce. Came out in 3 pushes after 15 hours of hard labor. Maddie probably should have been a c-section baby. I was induced a week after my due date. After an hour of hard labor, pushing, and a heartrate drop she was vaccumed out. Since she was 9lbs, 15 ounces, I ended up with what I think they call a 4th or 5th degree episotomy/tear. AKA as a “vaginal c-section”. At first the doctor diagnosed her with shoulder displaysia, because her shoulder was jammed coming through the birth canal. So we had to be really careful with her left arm/shoulder the first few days in the hospital. But whatever the issue, it corrected itself and there was no permanent damage. That’s why this time around with Nicklaus my doctor and I had a long discussion about what to do. She listened to my concerns about a c-section and I agreed to go see a specialist in high risk births. After talking with him and weighing the pros and cons, I felt better about having the c-section. It was what was best for Nicklaus. It was a tough decision. I feel blessed that I was able to experience two previous vaginal births. It is the most incredible feeling:) It is an amazing, beautiful thing a body can do.
As far as hopital concerns…the hospital I had Maddie and Nicklaus in was awesome! Especially this last time. I had the same day nurse for the 4 days I was there. She granted my every wish:) The lactation consultant was fabulous. She checked in with me each night and stayed for an hour to help me complete a feeding. The eating thing after labor depends on your doctor. I could only have liquids the first hour after my c-section. Then I was offered whatever I wanted. Of course what I really wanted was snuggle time with my new little one… and maybe some sleep:)
Each hospital stay was better than the last:) I am sure if you take a tour of the maternity floor at your hospital you will feel a lot better. Have you looked into any classes yet? Like breast feeding, or infant cpr? That is a great way to meet the staff. The classes are usually pretty inexpensive. They are usuallly willing to answer any questions you have too. I think they usually have classes where you can “Meet their Doulas”. Even if you decide not to use one. My hospital also had extensive info on their website.
Talk to you soon!
Jody
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Jessica Reply:
January 26th, 2011 at 1:52 pm
I wish this hospital had extensive info on their website! The hospital I went to in Tennessee did, and it was rather convenient.
I guess what I’m really hoping is that my babies are W family sixed (5 -7 lbs) and not Reed family sized! lol. Maybe we can do some birth-experience-chatting at Game weekend?
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January 26, 2011 at 3:19 am
Go with your gut. Giving birth is amazingly crazy!
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January 26, 2011 at 3:19 am
or crazily amazing!
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Jessica Reply:
January 26th, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Or perhaps both? I think my gut (which tends to be a big worrier) is part of the problem here! lol.
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