Hostile Alien Take Over…

Or something like that. I wish. Then maybe class would be cancelled.

I am so ready for this kind of night to be over with… for the rest of my life… until I have to do it with my kids. The kind of night where you stay up studying because the other option is to wake up early, and knowing myself, I would just sleep. Then I would fail at life.

Or… at least at the test.

I’m not a studier. Honestly, I rarely study. But for some reason these summer classes have tunneled like little worms into my heart and I can’t help but study. Haha. Just kidding. I just know that, since I have only been listening to this stuff for a month, instead of four or five months… it’s just not as ingrained as it should be. So here I am, up at 1:32 in the morning, trying to study for my exam… which is 12 hours away. I guess I still have time to finish studying, and sleep 8 hours. Haha. The joys of classes starting in the afternoon. I’m not a crazy – I don’t wake up early on a normal day, and I definitely don’t wake up early on a summer day.

So really… I just felt like writing a real post, ya know… one with thoughtful stuff. Unfortunately, all I have on my mind is the use of strategic bombing in World War II, Lassaiz-Faire, and hoping to the high heaven’s that I can spell “Versailles” right tomorrow when I don’t have spell check to make me look smart.

Golly jeepers people. My life is so boring. PLUS – I’m a complete spaz. I should’ve studied over the weekend, but my husband got me all worked up and mad, and I could barely eat, there was no way I had the mental fortitude to sit down and read this. Blah! So now I am trying to cram an entire semester’s worth of information into one night. Glory glory be, I am a nut case! I have umm… 3/9 pages done. Honestly, I feel like I know most of the stuff, but not specifically… not enough to write a mini-essay on 4/40 subjects I’m studying. Unless he offers four that I know. Then I will be in fantastic shape. And I think I will write my longer essay about the change from peseant to laborer during the British Agricultural Revolution. I know lots about that… and the whole treating labor as part of the supply and demand chain and thinking people are just like any other resource. Blah blah blah. I should look this up, because with my luck he will say “WHO said blah blah blah WHEN, and WHY was it important.” And umm… it happened some times after Jesus died, and uhh… some one said it. Crap.

Okay. I think I am done with my crazy 1:32 rant about how much I suck at remembering historical events. This could either go really really well… or suck. Here’s hoping for the first!

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Tuesdays.

When ever I argue with my husband, and he says he loves me… I add that he only loves me on Tuesdays. Why tuesdays? Who knows! But… today is Tuesday. Sadly there isn’t much lovin’ as he is working and getting ready to fly to DC tomorrow, while I am trying to finish the last page of this stupid paper. I only have one more page to go… but I am really kind of unmotivated. Maybe a nap would do me some good?

Tell me, how do you get motivated to do things you… really don’t like? huh? I’m all ears!

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The perils of summer classes…

I’ve run out of time. I don’t have time to shower, or eat, or sleep, or blog (gasp!) or… well… anything. I am so worried about these classes. I mean, can I really pull this off? A whole semester shoved into one month? I have a big presentation tonight. I think it’s like 25% of my grade.

I need a nap.

My bed is not comfy.

Oh. And my husband doesn’t want to go to grad school in Tennessee so he is uprooting my comfortable little life to go live in a busy, fast paced city up north. Hmmm… just what I need. Boo.

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Get up & keep going…

I had a dream last night that every one, including myself, forgot my birthday. This may be a good thing, as my seems to be unable to remember that I am aging… I told my own mother I was a year younger than I really am… honest accident. Sometimes I think dreams mean something… like the time I dreamt about Rigoletto a million times. I don’t know what it meant, but it has to mean something… right? Ok. This is a tangent. I just woke up so of course dreams are on my mind. lol.

I rode my bike to school yesterday, and I’m going to ride it in again today. I need to call the place that fixed it though, because now that it is in first gear (of the bigger gears) it won’t shift to second or third. It’s okay because I have the 1-6 gears on the other side, which give me enough variety to ride comfortably, but I got it fixed so that I could ride better, and I paid $100 to get it fixed. Hopefully they’ll just fix it up for free… since I already paid for it and they obviously didn’t do something right. I’ll keep you updated on that.

I did ride my bike into class yesterday. But, as I left class to meet up with a study group the sky turned black. Yes – black, not gray… it looked like it was night time. Yeah… I had checked, and it wasn’t supposed to rain until 5… but as the heaven’s opened up at 3:03 I tried to not panic. Luckily one of the girls in my study group lives near me, and she kindly shoved my bike in the back of her car so that I didn’t have to ride home and risk getting hit by lightning, or getting soaked. So, yesterday I only biked 4 miles. Looking at the weather today, it is supposed to start raining much earlier, and continue until much later. THIS SUCKS! lol. I hate taking advantage of people, but I also hate being a lazy bum.

Speaking of classes, they are going well. My Western Civ class is everyday, but I kind of really like it. I don’t know why I haven’t ever taken summer classes before, but honestly – best idea ever. I am shoving an entire semester of my least favorite subject into a month! And FYI… that month is almost over! Only three more weeks of class. In Western Civ we have a map quiz and a short essay quiz every week (one of Tuesday, one of Thursday). Then in my World Religions class we meet twice a week, and have a 5 question multiple choice quiz once a week. It’s not so bad. It is kind of crazy that, including today, there are only 6 class periods left. I should definitely get on top of writing my final paper. And reading. lol.

My garden in floundering. The green squash are growing like crazy, and the potatoes are thriving, but everything else seems to be frozen in the same state they were in a few weeks ago. I’m not really sure what to do with them. Should we replant? Should I just leave them and hope for the best? Who knows? lol, definitely not me!

Well, now I need to go and figure out if I can ride my bike or not. I think I will call my friend and see if she minds giving me a ride home tonight, should the weather looks sketchy. Wish me luck!

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YES!

I did it. Got lost on the way to class, but still arrived 30 minutes early. It wasn’t so bad, and I will do it again tomorrow… the only problem?

MY BUTT HURTS!

Thanks for all of the encouragement – and I’m really glad I did it.   Too pooped to keep sitting here, but my class looks like it is going to be interesting, and easy! Yippee!

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Fretting.

Once, when I was at the The Hague International Model United Nations, I sat next to this group of British guys.

I have always been a bucket of stress. Especially in high school, before my depression was sever enough to effect strangers, before anti-depressants, when my chill pill was talking to my future husband for hours on end. He really did save my soul. Regardless, I was probably the kid sitting in my seat the whole time, the only one who hadn’t gone out drinking the night before, or taken advantage of the legal marijuana situation. I was a stickler. And I was stressing. About my fake resolution of course?! What else would a teenager at THIMUN be stressing about?

One morning of the conference I arrived particularly stressed. I was rooming with people I really didn’t care for – the rest of my dear high school friends all signed up for rooms with out me. Yeah, I was the convenient friend for a lot of people. Any way – I was rooming with girls who didn’t like me, and whom I didn’t like. No wondering I was stressed.

That's me, on the left, being a loner.

Now the following is an unfortunate picture of me. I apologize, but I am sharing a closer image of the cute British guy I will never meet again – I don’t even remember his name.

Sorry. Countinuing onward. He turned to me one dreary Netherland morning and said:

Are you fretting? Why are you fretting?

And this question was rephrased and repeated multiple times. All I could think was “Who uses the word ‘fretting’ in everyday speech?”

Okay – onto my point. Since deciding I wanted to ride my bike to school, I have seriously been doing some fretting. I’m worried about my old lady hips. The last time I had problems with them was because of some bike riding – and it resulted in months of physical therapy. Months. I had convinced myself to wait until next week to try and ride my bike in, but I really decided I need to stop fretting and just do it. And if it’s hard, and it sucks, I won’t do it every day. But I realized how easy it was for me to talk myself out of doing it – and that is freaking scary. I am so thankful for all of the encouragement though, because I feel like I am being held responsible, and I would hate to let my blog-friends down. 🙁

_________________________________

In other news, I think my bout of baby-fever has passed, my ovaries have been tamed, and I think if I were pregnant right now I would be wishing I had waited. Good thing my husband knows how to (occasionally) put his foot down. I have no stamina, and no patience. Really… when I am feeling uninhibited, I am probably one of the least patient people ever. Which is probably why I need to wait to have kids. That and I am trying to convince myself to ride 6 miles on my bike every day.

The End

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College & Babies.

Last year (well… last year as in, not this most recent year… or the one before that, so really it’s two years ago, but once I got engaged time stopped. Hope that clears things up.) I decided I would probably go to Grad school.

Then I got married.

A few months ago I mentioned this plan to the B-man and he says…

“oh… I think I want to go too.”

Since he is the big money maker in this family, I guess his education is a tad bit more pertinant than mine. The idea of both of us going to Grad school at the same time is scarry and stressful in my opinion. Especially if he gets into some hoity toity expensive school that I can’t get into. I’m going to be very bluntly honest with you all. My husband is smarter than I am. In some arenas. Things like school… math… computers, you get the picture. He’s very book smart. I’m very… life smart, a lot more creative. No worries, I’m not putting myself down. It’s just that if he gets into say, John Hopkins, what am I going to do? I don’t have the grades to get in there. And we don’t have the money to pay up front for both. Which is a lie. We would have it, but then we would be putting off buying a house, or a car. And even though his tuition will be reimberesed, that is still really expensive up front.

B-man is always telling me that he thinks I would make a great teacher. I agree. I love kids, I love working with kids, I love the school atmosphere, learning in the air. You know, all that good stuff. And maybe one day, it will happen. It would be awesome. But for now I feel like I really just need to focus on getting him through this first. Meh. Some schools are so expensive I don’t even know if we could afford to pay it, to be reimbursed later because… where am I supposed to come up with $20,000??? Hmm? Can I just borrow your pockets change… and yours… and yours. Phew. UT is less than $4000 a semester, which is a lot more manageable, and it’s cheaper to live here. Mind, if we were going to live here for another few years, I think we might move. Maybe.  Blah, just thinking about that much money makes my stomach turn a little bit. His work will reimburse up to $6000 a year, so it seems obvious that an instate program and a state university might be our best option.

So, the hunt for a Graduate program is on. Brandan has his GRE prep book, and will be forced to practice at least once. And I am… where am I? Stuck. I don’t know if this comes through in my blogging, but the baby wanting hormones are really high in this house. Like, ridiculously high. And the thing is, we’re waiting until I finish school – next December. But then, do we have to wait for him to finish (more) school to? And if not, that is a ridiculous double standards put on me by my family and relatives, and husband. Plus, I really doubt that if he gets into Grad school that we will really want to wait another four years. HOLY COW MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE. Ok… so that’s how I feel: confused. If we’re waiting for school to be done, then fine – I can understand that. But then sometimes the reason we’re waiting is that we’re going to be moving. Well, if we stay here, we’re not moving. If we move to some school… we’ll be moving again a few years after that. Money isn’t even an issue in this whole family planning thing. My ovaries are just confused. They talk, and you know what they’re saying? They’re saying “We’re getting old!!!” Ha! Tell me about it. So… how is this all related? I’m not really sure. But two things I am sure, of… and that is that

1. I want off spring yesterday.

2. College is expensive, and I’m not talking about the offspring’s college.

Word.

In other news. Our A/C is broken. Mondo brokenness. So, we’re having an HVAC person come out tomorrow to fix it. But in the mean time – our house is like a dutch oven – hot all over. I mean, it is cooler OUTSIDE. Grrr. Unfortunatly, we only have one screen, so we can only have one window open. If we had more screens… every window would be open, and our house would be nice and cool. But it’s not. Boo.

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Something crazy.

School has been something crazy lately.

And when I say that, it is with the best southern accent I have and there is no “g” on the end of something.

In the next hour I am going to post a food blog, and a garden blog, but right now I just want to talk about life.

As I was saying, school. I’m almost done with this semester! Next week is the last week of classes, and then after that is a few finals and then we’re off to enjoy the first part of my summer break! I am so excited for all of the traveling and visiting that we are going to be doing.

I think this week I had/have a lot to do. I’ve already finished and turned in two projects, and I still have a paper to write to turn in on Thursday. I haven’t completely read the book, but I already know what I am going to write about. Here’s what the rest of my week looks like:

  1. Internship application (make video)
  2. Prince of Slaves paper for World Religions
  3. Quiz for Western Civilization
  4. Volunteer  TSD
  5. Write Extra Credit Papers
  6. Mail birthday presents
  7. Mail VA state taxes
  8. Clean

Yeah… cleaning is always on the list. I am disappointed in my self for not blogging the last two days, but B-man recently got me hooked-on-Heroes. I am not a big TV watcher, and I have been avoiding this show from the get-go. It’s just a little too tense for me. Even now, on some scenes, I just say “This seems like a good time to check my e-mail, no need to pause!” and I get out of there, because my poor little heart can’t stand the anxiety.

Speaking of my heart – it’s actually in really good condition. I visited the Walgreen’s Wellness Center Tour today, and had my blodd pressure, bone density, cholesterol, and a bunch of other things checked out. The only measurements that were wacky were related to my weight, and I already knew that. But apparently I have great bone density, and perfect cholesterol, and good blood pressure. If you haven’t heard of it, this program is free, and it’s kind of nifty to know this information, and it only took 15 minutes! I also got a free membership to AARP. Umm… know any one over 50 who is not an AARP member already?

Lastly, I changed the layout of my blog again. I like the other one, but I thought it was kind of confusing, and I couldn’t figure out how to customize the header and colors. The php and stylesheet were just ridiculous. So, this one is cute, and I like the yellow.

The End.

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Think positive thoughts.

So, I had a meeting this morning, and left rather disgruntled. I felt the meeting was less productive than it should’ve been, and I left feeling a little deflated.

BUT… thankfully my day got better. I went over to TSD to do some more volunteering. I’m helping take language samples and it is so much fun. I really love working with these kids. Every time I go I feel like I picked the wrong major! And then I think “Oh no, I have to go back to school!” Because I really think that teaching is what I want to do.
Now what? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll go back to school and get a degree in general education. Bah! This is where my stress levels increase and I start to think “Oh now I can’t do anything?!”
Almost done. Almost done.
Sorry… I don’t have any more coherent sentences.
Later: our new “diet” and “work-out” schedule. Woot!
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I'm feeling diverse and cultural…


I do not have classes on Fridays, so instead I took the opportunity to go to a few presentations today. I feel a little bit more cultural, and a little bit smarter, so that’s good!
The first presentation I went to today was by two Deaf, Native Americans. They were here presenting on Native American Sign Language, and more specifically that of the Plains Indians, and the importances of researching and saving this beautiful language. For more information you can visit the Hand Talk website. It’s all very interesting.
The morning started off with a beautiful blessing over our college, and program. Even though it was is a different sign language, I could understand some of it. I think it was just a precious way to start off the event.
After the blessing every one trooped inside, out of the drizzle, and settled into the auditorium for a power point slide show. Hmmm… my favorite! lol. It was so interesting, and I wish I could share more, but to be honest, it was all new information to me!

To my right is James Wooden Legs, and to my left is Melanie McKay-Cody. Their presentation was interesting, and engaging. After the presentation James said a “closing prayer” and then invited any one in the audience to come up and be blessed. It was really special, and I’m glad I had the chance to be there.

Afterwards, I also got to go to the sit-down lunch and just chat and ask questions. It was cool because my roommate, Nikki, from last year, was also in attendance. Yeah!
After hanging out a little bit more, and enjoys Jame’s magic tricks, I headed over to the UC so I could see a presentation from a Tibetan Monk.
This is Arjia Rinpoche, the high lama, and Abbot of Kumbum…. and the list goes on and on. I had never met a Tibetan monk before, so it was an experience, albiet, not a life changing one. His story really is incredible, so if you have an extra $20 to spend on a book, I would highly recommend it.
This is another monk who was with him, but I didn’t catch his name. 🙂 Lol. They were from the Tibetan Monogolian Buddhist Culteral Center, in Bloomington, Indiana! That kind of makes me giggle a bit. Regardless, if you are interested in learning more about them, you can check out their website!
Now what? I have traveled through time and space today! So now… Brandan and I are going to the movies, then maybe to dinner, and then… maybe roller skating. We’ll see how the night goes!
So tell me… have you ever met any one incredibly interesting? Tell me who, when, and why?
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I'm famous!!!… or not…

Ok, not really. Recently I was interviewed for a little clip about the general opinion on global warming. The portrayal of my opinion is not complete – but unless you really want to know, I will keep my long winded (albeit, educated) opinions to myself! I think I probably said something about how, the effects we are witnessing, are real, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s normal. And something about how pollution is very destructive, but it hurts some areas more than others. Yeah… I think I just kept going and he was like “Why is this girl still talking?!”


The kiddo’s name was Shane Donahoo, and he is a student of the School of Journalism and Electronic Media at the University of Tennessee. For more articles and clips you can check out their website!


So there you have it! After he video taped the clip we had a nice conversation about food networks and… I don’t remember what else. Then I traipsed off to my night class as the snow fell. Picturesque, really.

In other news… I am actually going to cook food tonight. It’s been a while, stress takes a mean toll on me, but B-man and I went grocery shopping yesterday, so… I have to cook!
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Finding the Balance…

So I’m trying to find a good balance of blog postings… I could probably blog all day… 20 times a day. But, I know no one would want to read all of that. I also know that I would love to make Video-blogs 20 times a day. Ignore that fact that there isn’t enough time in my life to do that.

I’ve kind of decided that blogging once a day is acceptable, and then posting two or three videos a week (at the max) is good too. Since it is something that really does help me practice, I don’t want to get sick of it. lol.
So, here’s a new video, just a short bit of what I did today, and some things I did yesterday. I know that my blog/vlog entries might overlap, but if you really don’t like watching them… you don’t have to! lol.

I hope every one had a wonderful St. Patty’s day, and I’ll catch ya tomorrow… after I’ve been go-go-going all day! Yippeeeee!
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Smooth sailing.


Yesterday I spoke with my teacher about the other test I had bombed, and thankfully she too is going to let me up my grade a bit.
After that quick discussion I was off to my Tuesday night class, and the test that I had not prepare for. But, I think I did well on it because her tests are pretty straight forward, and none of this is really new information.
Then I drove home, kidnapped my husband, and we went out to dinner. I had really not been in the mood to go out over the weekend, so instead we went out on Tuesday. There is this new restaurant called “Bangkok Tokyo” and it is a Thai and Japanese restaurant. It is not a fusion restaurant, it has two separate menus for each kind of cuisine. B-man and I went opposite of each other. He got Thai, and I ordered Japanese.
I really wanted a good sweet curry, ya know, with pineapple and raisins. Yeah, they didn’t have that. They had lots of food I’ve never heard of, and three variations on curry. So I ordered Chicken Teryaki with rice. The food was good, I didn’t have a knife… and I didn’t really want to ask for one… because I had already filled my question quotient for the evening. So I ate my chicken sans knife. It was interesting.
Over all it was good. B-man said his curry was delicious, and if we go again I will have to try something different.
We also learned this yesterday = our favorite Chinese buffet is closed. For good. For ever. and ever. It was a sad realization, their food was really good. 0_0
_____***______
In other news, I went and volunteered at TSD again today. They were doing testing, so I didn’t feel too useful, but then I got to play some games with the kids, and that was really fun. We played dominoes, boggle, and Sorry!.
I think I will probably be volunteering at the middle school every Wednesday and Friday. It’s such good practice, and it’ll probably look good to have so many volunteer hours racked up in a portfolio.
So, I think that is all. I want the weather to warm up. Soon.
I need a nap. Ciao bella!
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Crying.

I hate sad posts.
I hate depressing posts.
I tend to stop blogging when things aren’t happy because I don’t really want to dwell on them.
But today is a special case (because it has a (semi) happy ending).
I woke up this morning. Then I went to class. Debate class. It’s a part of my western civilization class. It’s kind of silly, but in general it’s not too bad. We discuss things like “Which had a bigger economic impact, AIDS or the Plague.” Yeah. Duh. We sit in these groups and come up with questions for other groups. Here’s where it goes sour.
I suggested a question. Some one else said something, and the next thing I know:
I’m crying. Yes. I’m sitting a group with three 20 year old guys, and I’m crying. Why am I crying? Because… I don’t know. I can’t even explain why I’m crying. Should I say “One day you’ll understand.” or “Wait till you get married.”? Nope, you probably won’t understand then either. I spend so much of Sunday crying that social interaction is causing me just enough stress to make me cry. Oh dear.
So, I did manage to get out the words “Failed a few midterms” and “really it’s nothing” before one of the afore mentioned 20 something year olds offered me a handkerchief.
What?
Yeah, that zip sound that happens in movies. That happens in my life. It was sweet, but I had to politely decline. Really, he had probably used it to wipe his nose on… or maybe he carries it around to offer to crying married women. Who knows?! I did manage to make it through the rest of my 50 minute class without crying. Yes!
The people, they look like ants, marching
back and forth, where are they going?
Where have they been?
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. I finished my project for my class that I had failed the test in. Then spent a good while trying to convince myself that I should go. Cause, ya know, skipping doesn’t usually help your grade.
So, I went to class. And I got my test back. It was one page long. I cried. I hyperventilated. I already know what grade I’d gotten. Why was I crying again? I excused myself to the bathroom. Then I sat down. I took slow, deep breaths.
I wasn’t going to be able to talk her. Just thinking about this was making me upset. So, I wrote it down. I went through each of her response, and wrote down why I thought that my response was correct. English is such an ambiguous language. Lame. I think I cried during this part too. I guess confrontation causes me stress.
In class we talked about independent learning.
She just gave us a bunch of bottles of stuff and some almonds.
Yeah… this is what we came up with!
It all worked out in the end. I ended up explaining two of them, which she had read differently than I had intended, and she said I could do the other questions again for half credit. So, instead of getting an 8/15, I now have a 13/15. We also had a good chat about the value of grades, and that she knows I work hard, and that as long as I keep participating and turning in my homework, there’s no way I will get below an A. Awesome. Could you have told me that on Saturday, when you sent out the “test grades.” Yup, muchly appreciated. Then I wouldn’t have eaten all of this:
Ok… I didn’t actually eat all of that today. And it had nothing to do with Language Development, or classes. Well, it did have to do with classes, but in a round-a-bout kind of way.
I was going to watch a movie. I needed to watch the movie so I could pick an element of Judaism to write about, that was present in the movie. I didn’t see any religion. I missed it. I watched the whole thing. We talked about it. Yeah… he’s Jewish… but… umm… not so much? I can’t write about it. Even I can’t BS two pages about nothing! So, thankfully there is another option and I will write about the other movie.
Life is Beautiful. That’s the name of the movie. It came out in 1998. It is probably one of the sweetest, most sad movies I have ever seen in my entire life. I ate ice cream. I cuddled the dog. I hid my eyes. I plugged my ears. Then I cried. The main character, a Jewish Italian during the holocaust, is in the camp with his son, whom he hides from the Germans to keep alive. He makes it into this big game of points and hide and go seek, and then….
I can’t talk about movies. Go look it up if you want to know. Some people like to know what’s happening, and other don’t. I must know. Everything. I hate surprises. Yuck.
Any way, I cried. I started to tear up, and B-man looked at me. I cried.
“Don’t laugh at me?!”
“I’m trying not to cry too!”
Yup, those were his exact words. So it’s not that I’m a crazy-crying lady, oh thank goodness.
My two favorite…men?

And I guess that is where I must end. I am so thankful to the people who have supported me through this miniature meltdown of mine. I don’t know what came over me, but it was awful. I should be returning to full health soon, but beware, because I still might cry.
My poor husband. It’s not even “that time” and I’m acting like a lunatic!
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Rough weekend.

I don’t cry a lot. I think I can see a piece of B-man fall apart when I cry. So I try not to. But yesterday, I made up for all the crying I hadn’t done previously.

I failed two of my midterms. I knew about one of them a week ago, and I kind of shrugged it off and figured “I’ll just work extra hard in that class.” and every thing was going to be ok. But then I got the results back from a different test. This one was a take home test that I had spent 4 hours on. Four Hours! Do you know what I could’ve done with those for hours of my life, had I not wasted them on this stupid test? I could’ve studied for the other one!
After about noon, when I got my score… I spent the rest of the evening between fits of tears, fits of panic, and maybe even a little anger. This teacher has also been rather ridiculous with regards to grading other things, so I don’t know how much talking with her is going to help.
I’m so close. I can taste th graduation cap. I know I will make at least a C in each of these classes. But that’s not good enough to me. My 3.4 GPA is going to go down toilet, and my hopes of graduating Cum Laude have been dashed.
Today, I will try not to cry so much. But it will probably happen.
It’s hard to be disappointed. It’s even worse when the only person you can blame in yourself.
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